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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23302225">Contrast</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blockedwriter/pseuds/blockedwriter'>blockedwriter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Human AU, M/M, Self-Harm, Soulmate AU, i've also had writer's block for years, i've never written on here before, nothing graphic so i didn't put warning but it's definitely included</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:47:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,528</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23302225</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blockedwriter/pseuds/blockedwriter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan was patiently waiting on learning of his soulmate, living a mundane life with his mind too sharp for his own good.</p><p>Virgil was losing hope on ever learning of his soulmate, which did nothing to help the other areas of his life that were beginning to crumble around him.</p><p>Soulmate AU, writing appears on soulmate's skin as well (idk if it has a name haha)</p><p>//</p><p>I'm not planning this very much, I'm not even sure if I'll update frequently. I just want to put my ideas somewhere where I can keep them ^^. Characters might be a bit too OOC, I'm mostly using them as a foundation/template. idk ^^' Not much of a focus on Roman and Patton, btw.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Preface</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi!! This is the first thing I've ever posted on here, and I'm mostly just starting to write because I want my ideas out of my head and onto somewhere I can keep them. Purely for fun :D. If you're reading this, I hope you enjoy it at least a little bit! ^^</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Logan drifts awake, rolling over in his bed to glare his alarm clock in the face.</p><p>One second.</p><p>Two seconds.</p><p>BEEP. BEEP.</p><p>He disables the alarm, gets up, and gets dressed. His routine is so clear-cut that it’s engraved in his mind. He wakes up at the same time every day: 6:45. He eats the same breakfast every day: eggs on toast, medium brown. He sits in the same seat on the same couch in the same little dorm room at the end of the hall.</p><p>He gives a quick good morning to his roommate before leaving. Roman is typically too groggy from whichever party he was at the night before to respond. Every day, it’s the same.</p><p>Not that Logan minds.</p><p>He goes through the motions once again. He does the same type of work in every class. He eats whatever happens to be cheapest at the cafeteria. He goes back to his dorm room and crams a couple hours of homework in before his roommate comes back high off a performance, drunk off alcohol, or a combination of the two. Then, he listens to his infatuated ramblings about either his role or his ex.</p><p>After that, and a few more hours of studying and reading, it’s time for bed again.</p><p>The next morning, he didn’t expect to wake up to his arms covered in black, scribbled handwriting.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Hello.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong><em>                                                                                   unloveable</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>destined to be alone</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>                                                                   why try?</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong><em>                                                                                                             fuck off</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>nothing will EVER show up                                                                 </em></strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong><em>                                                     disgusting                                                                                   stop looking</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>              just die.</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>Logan’s breath stops. His initial excitement was shot down upon reading such horrible things. He was at a complete loss on what to do, staring at the words covering his arms and legs. His mouth went dry.</p>
<p>BEEP. BEEP.</p>
<p>The alarm actually startled him, for once.</p>
<p>//</p>
<p>Virgil wasn’t even sure if he had slept. It was one of those nights where your brain never really turns off. When you feel like you were just half asleep the entire night, or you had a dream where you were just laying in bed.</p>
<p>It was all too much. Everything was too much. Everyone was gone. His chest constricted, tears threatening to fall again.</p>
<p>He gazed at his arms, red lines mingling with the black scrawl from last night.</p>
<p>A fundamental human right must have been broken or something. He’s been deprived of a soulmate through one too many panic attacks. All he wanted was someone to help.</p>
<p>But, in the end, he always remembers that it’s for the best -- which is exactly why his heart rate spiked upon seeing a neat word etched onto his inner wrist.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Hello.</em>
</p>
<p>His entire body tensed, his arm constricted, and he had no idea how to react. When did the connection happen? Could his soulmate see everything?</p>
<p>Virgil couldn’t tear his eyes away from it. Such neat, straight letters. And such a simple response. His soulmate couldn’t see everything he wrote, could they? Who would respond to it like <em>that</em>? Then again, even if Virgil did write things before the connection happened, the connection is <em>present</em>. Does that just transfer everything anyways, no matter what time it was written?</p>
<p>And why today? Why now? Did it happen last night? He didn’t see anything written until two seconds ago. Maybe his soulmate just woke up, having slept through Virgil’s breakdown. It was a close one, too. A few went far too deep.</p>
<p>What should he even respond with? “Hey.” “What’s up?” “Sorry about all of this, probably ruined your plans for the beach.” Of course the first interaction he has with his soulmate would be inconveniencing them, only fitting--</p>
<p>His soulmate.</p>
<p>His... soulmate. Strange to think about...</p>
<p>A thought then struck Virgil – what if his soulmate thought they were directed at <em>them</em>? That Virgil just tattooed sick things across his limbs so that the very first time it appears on his soulmate, they’re crushed. What if they think Virgil is a sick fuck who gets enjoyment out of loved ones' pain? Maybe that would be a safer route to take. They were sure to hate him, no matter what some omniscient power had to say about it.</p>
<p>But he couldn't bear the thought of his soulmate thinking that he hated them. He knew too well how that felt.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>these things arent directed at you, theyre meant for me. sorry.</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>His heart was pounding. Why tonight? Why wasn’t he given a warning? Why was anyone paired with him at <em>all</em>?</p>
<p>
  <em>I assumed so. Are you alright?</em>
</p>
<p>Was he alright? He wasn’t sure. “Alright” tended to mean different things to different people, in his experience.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>Im fine, sorry.</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Sorry for what?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>for the writing. and that youre stuck with me.</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I am confident that I will not feel “stuck” with you whatsoever. We are soulmates.</em>
</p>
<p>It was weird, having his soulmate respond. Surreal. At this point, the idea of him having a soulmate felt impossible. </p>
<p>
  <em>Were you planning on showering?</em>
</p>
<p>He creased his brow.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>why?</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The things written here are… terrible. I do not know the state you are currently in, but I will wash them off as soon as I am home if you are unable to. </em>
</p>
<p>Of course. Why would his soulmate want these things all over their body? Stupid. So stupid.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>oh right um sorry I</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>One move of his ankle, and pain shot up his entire leg.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>                I cant really..</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>…move, honestly</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Why not? Are you alright?</em>
</p>
<p>That question again.</p>
<p><strong> <em>yeah, yeah I’m fine</em>,</strong><strong><em> just… </em> </strong> <strong> <em>hurts</em> </strong></p>
<p>
  <em> I see. Well, I have classes for a few more hours. I am sorry I cannot remove you of them until then.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>oh Im sorry I distracted you I</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Please, do not worry. It is my decision to prioritize you at the moment.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>but why</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You are distressed. You are also my soulmate. Let me know if there is anything else I can do to assist you.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>ok</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>Virgil is confused, to say the least, but his mind is too tired to even try to understand anything right now. Maybe he really didn’t sleep at all. He’s exhausted. Going back to sleep. This would all make much more sense if it were just a fever dream anyway.</p>
<p>//</p>
<p>Logan’s day was certainly… <em>different</em> already. He had almost been tardy, but decided to ensure that he gets to class on time before talking with his soulmate. He had studied ahead yesterday, so it would be no problem focusing on them during that time. They seemed rather timid and in a fragile state of mind, so he wanted to put a lot of thought into what he responded with.</p>
<p>
  <em>You are distressed. You are also my soulmate. Let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>ok</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Would you mind telling me your name, and perhaps where you live?</em>
</p>
<p>Logan was quite worried about their current state. He was in pain for unknown reasons, but he felt as if it would be rude to ask. They had just been acquainted, and he wanted to create a foundation for their new relationship, whether it results in a close friendship or partnership. He felt inexperienced in dealing with such complex emotional matters, however; perhaps a course in psychology or some extra reading online would help.</p>
<p>His soulmate still hasn’t answered.</p>
<p>
  <em>If not, that’s perfectly fine. You may tell me when you are ready.</em>
</p>
<p>He gave a quick look at the board, making sure that he wasn’t missing anything new. He checked his texts, making sure he didn’t miss anything important.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>This certainly wasn’t helping his concerns.</p>
<p>//</p>
<p>Instead of spending the next three hours concentrating on his schoolwork, Logan spent it worrying about his newfound soulmate, and doing research from his phone when able to. He had far too little information to determine whether they had some long-term issues they were working through, or if they had just had a bad night. There were still several general resources he could utilize, as he had always been rather inadequate at giving sufficient emotional support.</p>
<p>He was home now, doing further reading after taking a thorough shower and writing his question once more. He tried to focus on the information he was finding, rather than his anticipation and anxiety over why it was taking so long for them to respond – which made it quite easy for Roman to sneak up on him.</p>
<p> “Hey, Brainiac! Lookin’ at som’thin’ other than biology fer once, huh?” he slurred.</p>
<p>Logan jumped in his head, turning around.</p>
<p>“My soulmate wrote me.” The words came out in a rush. Odd.</p>
<p>A grin dawned on Roman’s face. “Ah, finally. Som’thin interestin’ said back. I’ll spare you the <em>deets</em> of my <em>magnif’cent </em>performance tonight. What’d he sayyy?” he said with an unceremonious flop onto the sofa.</p>
<p>Logan paused. Would it be right to tell someone else about what he saw? It felt like a rather personal matter.</p>
<p>“C’mon! How’d it happenn? Was it <em>romantic?</em>”</p>
<p>“Are these things usually romantic?”</p>
<p>“Just answerrr!”</p>
<p>“I’ll tell you tomorrow, when you’re sober.” That’d be the safest option. If Logan did want his help in assisting him with his soulmate, he’d want Roman to have the first impression while at least in his right state of mind. Tomorrow’s Saturday, anyway.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>my poor boy</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Great.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Virgil had drifted in and out of sleep. Nightmares came and went, his body and mind too drained to react much.</p><p>He woke up at 9 pm. Slept through the entire day. Missed classes.</p><p>Figures.</p><p>Stumbling into the bathroom, he remembered the damage he had done the night before. As he reached to get the hydrogen peroxide, he saw the neat question etched into his wrist -- and his blood ran cold.</p><p>
  <em>Would you mind telling me your name, and perhaps where you live?</em>
</p><p>An innocent question. Why's he so freaked out? After a dry swallow, he carefully wrote with shaking hands,</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>doesnt matter. i'll be kicked out soon enough anyways.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>The less information he gives, the better. It's already unfair that this person got paired with <em>him</em>, of all people. They didn't need to go through the grueling process of <em>getting to know him</em> on top of that.</p><p>The hydrogen peroxide stung almost as much as the cuts had.</p><p>
  <em>Kicked out? Will you have another place to go?</em>
</p><p>Would his parents even accept him back? Was there even a point in asking? They had to fight tooth and nail to get him in the college in the first place.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>sure</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Better to ease their mind.</p><p>
  <em>How convincing.</em>
</p><p>Ah. Never mind.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>look, i dont know, alright?</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>If you need a place to stay, do not hesitate to ask. I am... quite sure that my roommate will not mind at all.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>uh no</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>He wrote it before he could even think. He can't handle being a burden on others. He's already overwhelming to <em>himself</em>.</p><p>
  <em>No? You may become homeless, yet you reject shelter?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>I  uh.. wouldnt want to cause you problems.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>    i can be.. a lot</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>to like</strong>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>deal with</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hm. Perhaps it would be beneficial to meet so I could form my own opinions on such things, as well as to ease your insecurities.\</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>no</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>No? Why not?</em>
</p><p>Virgil was literally going to puke. There is <em>no</em> winning. He had two options.</p><p>Meet them, and let them down with his shitty personality.</p><p>Or, don't meet them, and let them down by never letting them meet their soulmate.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>maybe?</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well, I will give you some time to make up your mind. Let me know when you are free, I will work around your schedule.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>mine?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes. I am concerned for you, and would like to prioritize you.</em>
</p><p>Great.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Progress</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>It was the next day, and Logan's newfound soulmate had not yet given him any time frames. It was very... different to feel this concerned over someone.</p><p>"What if they're drunk of their ass? Do you think they're an alcoholic?"</p><p>"Get off of my floor. Don't you have... lines to practice?"</p><p>"Oh, Elliot, to me? I nearly ascend upon the thought. How darling of you, dear. Oh, is Arielle calling? Shall I fetch the water-"</p><p>"Very well. I see." Logan sighed. Theatre boy didn't even have his script.</p><p>Roman smirked. "Bold of you to assume I would need longer than a week. So, anyway, do you think they go here?"</p><p>"Statistically unlikely."</p><p>"What do you think their name is?"</p><p>"Haven't the faintest."</p><p>"How old --"</p><p>"Roman, I am trying to study."</p><p>"So am I! Trying to... study you!"</p><p>"Me?"</p><p>"And your soulmate!"</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Well, I love Patton, and I would absolutely surrender myself to the most fiendish of foes for him in a heartbeat, it's just... hard to recapture the initial butterflies sometimes."</p><p>"So you've decided to live vicariously through me."</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>Logan sighed again. At least he wasn't drunk this time. Roman's smirk grew into a grin.</p><p>"So, what color--"</p><p>
  <em> <strong>uh hey</strong> </em>
</p><p>Logan immediately shoved his sleeve up, ignoring Roman, who was now hovering over his shoulder.</p><p>
  <em>Hello.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>so uh I just realized you could very well be in another country?</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Florida, USA.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>oh. Miami?</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Miami.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>FIU?</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Precisely.</em>
</p><p>Logan and Roman were speechless.</p><p><em><strong>oh</strong></em>.</p><p>Until Roman wasn't.</p><p>"Ohmygosh! This is perfect!"</p><p>"Roman-"</p><p>"What if he's in one of your classes?"</p><p>"Please-"</p><p>"Ooh, same major!?"</p><p>"Roman, honestly-"</p><p>"We need to brainstorm first date plans!"</p><p>"Roman!"</p><p>"Oop. Sorry."</p><p>Logan gave him a pointed look before turning back to his arm.</p><p>
  <em>When are you free?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>uh never</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>               i mean</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>      uh</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>If you are not yet prepared to meet, we can exchange numbers, or simply continue writing if you would like.</em>
</p><p>There was hesitation now. They both watched with baited breath, hoping he wasn't pushing too far. This person was very guarded, and Logan did not want to begin their relationship, whether romantic or friendly, off on the wrong foot.</p><p>But, after a few minutes...</p><p>
  <em> <strong>786-555-4343</strong> </em>
</p><p>Roman watched as Logan's face lit up, and his phone was immediately in his hands, typing with an excitement so rarely shown. Joy blossomed in Roman's chest just by watching him.</p><p>//</p><p>Virgil's teeth were grinding furiously as he stared at his phone, every muscle tense as he waited for the text. This was probably a bad idea. He's not great at anything, least of all talking, texting, communication... Not that it'd be a good idea to talk even if he were, his personality is absolutely horrible-</p><p>
  <em>Unknown Number: Hello.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Virgil: ah hi</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unknown Number: This is not the wrong number, correct? You have just given me your number via soulwriting?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Virgil: yeah that was me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unknown Number: Excellent. May I have your name for the contact?</em>
</p><p>Virgil's heart rate was through the roof. Of course they'd want his name for the contact. Why wouldn't he? Virgil is supposed to be keeping a healthy distance so he won't taint this innocent person, but, here he is, being selfish, giving them his number, talking to them... His head was spinning, probably because he had forgotten to eat the entire day before, and his mind was quickly slowing down. Too much worrying was taking all of his energy.</p><p>Yet, before he knew it...</p><p>
  <em>Virgil: virgil</em>
</p><p>...it was like his hands moved entirely on their own, his mind too distant to really keep track of anything any more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i googled miami florida area code and put in random numbers, don't call it idk if it's anyone's actual number q~q</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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